Netspeak!

by Dan Petty and Karen Lawrence

Reprinted with permission, Cat Fanciers' Almanac, January, 1997


We've focused mainly on the World Wide Web portion of the Internet in previous articles, because that's where most of the cutting edge stuff is and that's where most Internet users' questions lie. But a large portion of the pool of Internet users are there for the email capability and it's facility for exchanging information quickly and accurately.

Let's face it; while it's easy to get on the phone and start calling breeders and vets about the bizarre symptoms exhibited by your 4-week-old litter of kittens, you're more quickly able to reach a large pool of knowledge (and therefore more likely to get a quick, useful answer) by zipping off an email with a subject line of "HELP!" to the fanciers mailing list. Email is the "party line" of the nineties! [Note: if you remember party line phones, your age is showing!]

Problems quickly arise for the new email user when the help response is something like this:

FWIW, my 4 w/o JBTs had a URI like that. :( IMHO, U may as well let it run its course. OTOH, U might try amoxi BID. WCIH? :-/
The medical acronyms may or may not be familiar, but the other ones and the odd little glyphs probably aren't. Today's emails, especially those on a mailing list, are loaded with acronyms and cryptic symbols. We thought we'd extend our break from the WWW and this month explore the world of common acronyms and "smileys." These collectively make up what may be commonly termed "netspeak," although there is yet more to netspeak than covered here.

ACRONYMS

Acronyms you're probably familiar with. Most of us know BOB is short for Best of Breed and GRC means Grand Champion. Acronyms on emails have grown up through a combination of economy of keystrokes (read that as "too danged lazy to bang it all out with my two-fingered approach to typing") and a desire to reduce filesize and thus download and transfer time. The following are some of the most common acronyms, but the list is far from complete and new ones crop up all the time:
AFAIK - As far as I know
AKA - Also known as
AIUI - As I understand it
ATB - All the best
BFN, B4N - Bye for now
BG - Big grin
BGFETE - Big grin from ear to ear
BICBW, BIMBW - But I could/may be wrong
BTA - But then again (usually follows IOW)
BTAPITEWASS - Better than a poke in the eye with a sharp stick (hey, I don't make 'em up, I'm just reporting on 'em!)
BTSOOM - Beats the "stuff" out of me
BTW - By the way
CAD - Ctrl-Alt-Del (AKA the reboot sequence or the "3-finger salute")
CIS - Consumer Information Service (of CompuServe)
CU, CUL, CUL8R - See you (later)
DIIK - "Danged" if I know
ESAD - Eat "stuff" and die (not for use with casual acquaintances)
FAQ - Frequently asked questions
FOAF - Friend of a friend
FUBAR - "Fouled" up beyond all repair (or recognition)
FWIW - For what it's worth
FYI - For your information
G - Grin
GD&R - Grinning, ducking, and running (usually after a really bad pun)
GDW - Grin, duck, and weave (same theme)
GIGO - Garbage in, garbage out (but for those who accept blindly what computers say, this means "Garbage in, gospel out")
GIWIST - Gee, I wish I'd said that
HSIK - How should I know
HTH - Hope this helps
IANAL - I am not a lawyer (this one should appear more in fanciers list messages!)
IC, ICN - I see (now)
ICOCBW - I could, of course, be wrong
IMAO - In my arrogant opinion
IMCO - In my correct opinion
IMHO - In my humble opinion
IMHBACO - In my humble but absolutely correct opinion (Dan's personal favorite!)
IMNSHO - In my not so humble opinion
IMO - in my opinion

IOW - In other words
JFTR - Just for the record
JIC - Just in case
LOL - Laughing out loud
MCIBTYC - My computer is better than your computer
MFZ - Microsoft-free zone (these last two are frequently used when trading insults/barbs between MacIntosh and PC aficionados)
MYOB - Mind your own business
NSS - No s**t, Sherlock
OIC - Oh, I see!
OOO - Out of order
OTF, OTFL - On the floor (laughing)
OTFLMAO - On the floor laughing my a** off
OTOH - On the other hand
OTR - Off the record
PITA - Pain in the "acronym"
PMJI - Pardon my jumping in
POV - Point of view (not personally owned vehicle!)
PTB - Powers that be
ROFL, ROTFL - Rolling on (the) floor laughing
ROFLMAO - Rolling on the floor laughing my a** off
SITD - Still in the dark
SNAFU - Situation normal, all "fouled" up
SO - Significant other
SOL - S**t outta luck
STATITI, TATITI - (So) that's all there is to it
SWMBO - She who must be obeyed (notice how there isn't a "HE who must be obeyed?")
TAFN - That's all for now
TANSTAAFL - There ain't no such thing as a free lunch
TGIF - Thank God it's Friday
TIA - Thanks in advance
TIC - Tongue in cheek (not nearly used often enough!)
TPTB - The Powers that be
TSR - Terminate and stay resident program (software jargon)
TTBOMK - To the best of my knowledge
TTFN, TT4N - Ta ta for now
TTUL - talk to you later
TWIT - That's what I think
U - You
VBG - Very big grin
WCIH - What could it hurt?
WTF, WTH - What the f***/h***
WYSIWYG - What you see is what you get
YMMV - Your milage may vary (meaning you may not agree)

SMILEYS

Smileys are the brain children of Scott E Fahlman of Carnegie Mellon University in Pittsburgh. The problem with email is there is no inflection and no body language, so there is no easy way to pick up any connotations from what is said. Some of Scott's contemporaries were making sarcastic remarks in ARPANet messages (ARPANet was one of the predecessors of the internet) and bulletin board posts and others took them more seriously than they were intended (since they missed the sarcasm). Scott recommended the use of :-) glyphs to denote comments that weren't to be taken seriously. The :-( glyph denoted a pout. THe idea quickly spread around the world via ARPANet and others created clever variations on the theme. Still don't get it? Then tilt your head 90 degrees to the left and look at the glyphs again.

Somewhat recently these glyphs have become referred to as emoticons, a term Scott Fahlman finds "awful." Whether they are emoticons, glyphs, or smileys, these have become an electronic art form for the inventive computer user (who probably has too much time on his/her hands). A summary of many of these follows along with their usual meanings (there is some variety in exactly what is meant by some of them):

:^) or :-) Grin
:) Little smile
:^( or :-( Pout or frown
:( Little frown
:^>: or :->: Sad
:^C or :-C Really sad
;^) or ;-) Wink
:^I or :-I or :^| or :-| Indifference
:^<: or :-<: A really sarcastic remark
<::^<: or <::-<: A devilishly sarcastic remark
<:;^<: or <:;-<: Devilish wink
%^) or %-) Staring at the monitor too long!
:^/ or :^\ or :-/ or :-\ Skeptical or wry comment
:^S or :-S Confused or incoherent
:^& or :-& Tongue-tied
:^D or :-D Laughing
:^0 or :-0 Surprised
8^0 or 8-0 Really surprised!
:^P or :-P Yuk!
<::^) or <::-) Dunce
*:o) Bozo
B^) or B-) Author wears glasses
0:^) or O:-) Innocent or angelic
:^X or :-X My lips are sealed
:[ "Bummer, Dude!"
|^( or |-{ "Good grief!"
|^0 or |-0 Dull; I'm snoring

There are LOTS more of these, but space prohibits us from listing them all. Suffice it to say there are emoticons for just about any facial expression. You are limited only by your imagination (and the ASCII character set!). Now there's no reason for your email to be misunderstood, since you'll be able to put your facial expression right next to the words! At the very least, always put a smiley or a <VBG> next to comments not meant to be taken seriously. It'll save you arguments down the road.

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Page maintained by Karen Lawrence, klawrenc@freenet.npiec.on.ca. Copyright(c) Karen Lawrence. Created: 4/10/96 Updated: 6/3/98